Surviving the Meantime

The past few months have been a pretty rough "season" for my little family.  Death, sickness, some big changes, we're going through it all.  And like my mom said, it's not going to last forever.  We'll come through this all in the end.  But "the meantime" sure is kicking our butts.

Because Skip and I are on edge a lot, we're shorter and snappier with each other.  We struggle to get everything done, give the girls lots of attention, be there for each other, and find time to be alone.  There are big things weighing on our hearts and so the every day things seem even more challenging.

I've gone through tough periods in my life before, and was always able to figure out how to navigate through the tough times.  If alone I'd yell and throw things.  I'd run until my legs ached.  I'd lay in bed sobbing for hours.  I'd sleep as much as I wanted.  I'd call my best friend and talk for hours.

Getting married changed the way I had to survive "the meantime".   Not only did I have to think about myself now, but also another person.  Skip had his own ways of dealing with things, his own coping mechanism.  And our ideas of getting through were rarely the same.  But in our tiny one-bedroom condo, still in a post-deployment high, we easily compromised and had the time to figure it all out together.

So once we figured out how to deal with difficult times together, we decided to throw two kids into the mix....you know, just to liven things up.  When you're struggling with some big stuff, and your husband is struggling with some big stuff, and you have two kids and a dog running around at your feet, it's a little hard to each take some time away to deal with things.  It's especially hard when you're trying to keep most of the big things out of the ears of the kids. 

But I'm pretty sure internalizing everything will just give Skip and I some big ol' ulcer and that's only going to add to our problems.  So how do we cope?  Well some days are just a complete fail.  We let the girls watch far too much TV, crumbs litter the floor for days on end, we snip and snap at each other, and nothing really gets done.

Though days normally shake us up a bit...remind us that we can't just lay around moping...we have a house to run and jobs to go to.  Those days remind us to break out the coping mechanisms we've been trying to perfect over the years.

On the good days we get a good night's rest {hahahahaha...if you know Skip and I at all, you know we survive on no more than 6 hours of sleep a night...maybe one day we'll get some sleep} Okay so on a good day we drink lots and lots of coffee:)  We make sure the other one has time to get in a workout...an hour to themselves {this helps a lot}  We take time to focus on the girls a little more...their sweet smiles and giggly laughs.  We force ourselves to get things done around the house, relishing in the contentment that comes with crossing things off a to-do list.  We speak a little slower and take time to respond.  We keep checks on each other...make sure we're each doing okay that day.  And we make sure to spend a little time, just the two of us.  Sometimes that means we're up till 1:00 am talking after Skip worked a night shift.  But as much as I love sleep, I love a little time with just my husband more.  We make both spontaneous and long-term plans with our friends, who have always been there to listen, give advice, and take our minds off everything for awhile.

So this rough patch we're going through?  This meantime?  It's tough, that's for sure.  I know it won't last forever, but it sure is giving us a run for our money right now.  But hopefully we'll cope, pull through, and all come out stronger on the other side.