What Happened to Braddock.

I have so many thoughts swirling around inside my head that I want to get down and remember.  Easiest way is for me to categorize everything.  So today I'm going to tell Braddock's medical story and how this all happened.

Back in January/February, Braddock started throwing up and not eating for a few days.  The first time it happened we brought him to the vet {he was then at 48 lbs}.  The vet gave him a shot and told us just to feed him chicken and rice...he got better after that.  The vet did not feel anything abnormal at the time.

A few weeks later he got sick again, and about a week after that.  We didn't take him back to the vet, but just gave him chicken and rice again. He got much better.

Wednesday July 18th Skip brought both Braddock and Shiba to the vet for their annual shots.  Shiba is good {other that being a little too fat} but Braddock had lost 6 lbs. since January and the vet thought he felt a mass in his intestines.  He told us to bring him back in a week to check it.

I was obviously worried, but hoping for the best.  Braddock was good for Thursday and Friday but started throwing up a lot on Saturday.  That continued until Wednesday.  He didn't eat Sunday, Monday or Tuesday.  We did get him to eat a bit on Wednesday before the vet visit.

The vet still felt the mass on Wednesday July 25th and Braddock had lost another 4 lbs in a week.  He was down to 38 lbs.  The vet told Skip we should do an ultra sound the next day as the technician happened to be going there on Thursday.  Skip let Mr. B at the vet that night.

Thursday at 3:15 the vet called to say I could come pick him up and discuss the ultra sound findings.  They brought Braddock into the room with me first.  He looked good I thought.  The vet had a somber face when he came in though and I knew it wasn't good.

He said that from the ultra sound they could see a tumor in the intestines and possibly a foreign body.  He said it was very very serious.  He gave us some options.  We could do nothing, and bring him home to just be with us before he died.  We could do an exploratory surgery and then talk to an oncologist about chemo and radiation.  If we were going to do the surgery it would have to be the next morning or he might get too weak to survive it.  The vet said depending on what he found when get got inside, surgery still might not save it.

I took Braddock home, called Skip and asked him to get someone to cover his overtime shift.  My mom had been watching the girls and my dad came to meet me at home as well.  We discussed everything and once Skip got home at 6:30, we made the decision to go ahead with the surgery.

We had one last night at home with Braddock {which I'll blog about another time} and Skip took him to the vet at 8:30 in the morning.  Skip took off that day as well to be home with us.

At 10:38 am the vet called and said that it was not a tumor after all, but the nipple of a pacifier stuck in his intestines.  He said the pacifier had done a lot of damage to the tissue and created a hole in the intestinal wall.  That hole was then leaking fluid into the rest of his body.  The tear was not that old, but the damage was done quickly.  He removed the pacifier, repaired the hole, and took a biopsy of some abnormal tissue.  He said they would keep Braddock for the weekend and if all went well we could take him home Monday.

We called to check on him Saturday morning.  He had been given a tablespoon of food and cobbled it up.  The vet said he was on steroids, fluids, pain killers, and an antibiotic.  He was doing well, but we were not out of the woods yet.  The vet wouldn't call again till Monday if everything was fine.

Sunday night at 9:00 pm the vet called me.  He said that Braddock had taken a turn for the worse.  He was very lethargic and throwing up.  They added some anti-nausea medicine to his growing med list.  he warned me that he could still die because of all the trauma.  He said to call back in the morning and see how he was doing. 

At 7:42 am Monday morning the phone rang. When I saw it was the vet I handed the phone to Skip, unable to take that call.  I knew.  The vet said Braddock had just stopped breathing about 20 minutes before.  There was just too much damage and he was just to weak to hang in there.

Braddock was just 4 years 9 weeks and 4 days old.

We got the biopsy results today.  The abnormal tissue was not cancer, just an affect of the leaking fluid from the tear in his intestines.

The guilt I feel today from the fact that my boy died from eating a pacifier is overwhelming.  I know everyone keeps trying to make me feel better, that it was just an accident, but nothing anyone will ever say will take that guilt away.  I failed our sweet boy and he's the one that paid the price. 

I know we did everything we could once we knew he was sick, but we just didn't do enough to watch him before.  I hope he knows how terrible I feel.